I am proud to be a trans women

The Journey of Kadambari Mayuri Bansod

Kadambari Mayuri Bansod proudly claims her identity in the title of her book, Proud to Be a Trans Woman, where she candidly shares her life journey. Over an evening dinner at my home, Kadambari—a striking presence with impeccable etiquette—spoke freely about her experiences. Her warmth and ease were evident as she explored my kitchen like an old friend. As we sipped our wine, she began recounting her story.

I was born into a middle-class family in Pune. Around the age of 11 or 12, I began experiencing gender sensitivity—I felt an urge to dress like girls and engage in typically feminine activities. My parents noticed this and my mother soon confronted me, insisting I act ‘like a man.’ But deep inside, I knew I was a girl. My actions were not forced—they came naturally.

Systemic Discrimination, Cultural and Legal Contradictions

As Kadambari grew older, her gender dysphoria intensified. Constant verbal abuse at home eventually forced her to leave. Like many trans persons, she found herself without support or shelter. Out of desperation, she began begging, ashamed and fearful of running into relatives. Survival soon led her to sex work—not by choice, but to afford food, shelter, and to fund her education. Despite these odds, she earned Master’s degrees in Marathi and Social Work.

A Call for Inclusion

Driven by a desire to contribute to social development, she found community through the Guru-Chela Parampara. While she respects this tradition, she chooses to live independently—working in an office, performing on stage, and traveling across cities. Her femininity often protects her from violence, but not from discrimination.

Public sanitation remains a fraught experience. In women’s restrooms, she has faced verbal abuse—especially from older women—forcing her to wait outside in distress. The experience is not just humiliating, but physically painful.

She shared the story of a colleague who was assaulted in a men’s restroom for appearing slightly feminine. No one helped her. Only a nearby doctor offered aid. “Where is the justice?” Kadambari asks. “Who is held accountable?”

In roadside dhabas and small hotels, male staff have followed her into restrooms, sometimes demanding sexual favors. Refusing them has led to both verbal and physical abuse. “Some form of violence,” she says, “is a daily reality.”

Exclusion from National Initiatives

Kadambari criticizes the Government of India’s flagship Swachh Bharat Mission, launched in 2014, for completely excluding trans persons. “Countries like Thailand, Indonesia, the Philippines, and Vietnam have gender-neutral restrooms. Why has India failed to include us?” she asks.

She points to ancient Indian epics like the Mahabharata, where trans figures like Shikhandi and Brihannala are given significance. “It’s hypocritical for a government that claims to preserve Indian traditions to exclude us from national programs.”

The NALSA judgment offered hope by recognizing trans rights, calling for separate restrooms or the right to choose. The government opted for the latter, but failed to provide safe, accessible infrastructure. Public awareness remains sorely lacking

Fear, Health Risks, and the Need for Action

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Today

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"Even more terrifying than restroom violence is the fear we carry every time we step outside. A transgender colleague was assaulted in a men's restroom for appearing slightly feminine. No one helped her. Many trans persons avoid using public restrooms altogether, risking severe health problems from holding their bladders."
Kadambari Mayuri Bansod
Secretary, Mangal Mukhi, a trans-rights organisation